My “WHY” and it’s probably not what you think it is…
It’s been far too long since I have posted or done much of anything with my blog or my website, today is the day all of that changes!!! I am challenging myself to be more transparent and vulnerable as part of that challenge I am sharing more of my knowledge, experiences, and personal transformation with the world. To some of you that may not seem like such a big deal but to me it’s a HUGE deal.
I wanted to reintroduce myself because I am not the same woman that I was 5 years ago (which is when I made my last post on my website) in many ways I am the same but in so many ways I am very different. During the time that I had been M.I.A from my website both of my parents passed away. My father had been fighting shingles and secretly fighting kidney stones passed suddenly due to liver failure. My mother had dementia but no-one quite knew the extent until my father passed away and her dementia progressed rapidly ultimately leading to Alzheimer’s Disease which was the cause of her death. Essentially the day my father died was also the day my mother died. There were a few good things that resulted in this tumultuous time in my life. My brother who I had been estranged from for about 10 years, were able to put the past behind us and rebuild a friendship which we still maintain to this day. I was forced to face some childhood trauma’s which created a space for healing and growth.
This time in my life also reframed my reasons for wanting to be a health and wellness coach. Having your parents pass away too soon sheds a different light on how you prioritize your own health. I strongly believe my father would still be here if he was able to prioritize his health and seek care for those kidney stones. This would have also helped my mother in possibly delaying the severity and rapid onset of Alzheimer’s Disease. Of course all of this is speculation. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason some of those reasons are still unknown. I truly believe reconnecting with my brother and his family was definitely one of the reasons some of these things played out the way they did. I am positive my parents are looking down on us both with so much joy.
As a mother to two smart, intelligent, independent, spunky, feisty, young adults that wants to be healthy and strong enough to watch my kids grow and see how their lives twist and turn my priority MUST be health not weight loss, not the size of my pants, not stepping on stage in a sparkly green bikini with stripper heels on – HEALTH and longevity MUST be my priority. I always felt like that was my priority but hindsight being what it is I realize that my priorities were purely superficial. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look good for a vacation or your wedding or some special moment in time but what happens when you don’t have anything special to work towards?? How do you maintain your motivation to work towards maintaining that physique that you worked so hard for? If you have lost your “WHY” because that occasion came and went or it really wasn’t compelling enough to inspire you to stick with your plan what do you do next?
I have learned over time that being motivated by some event or moment is a great jumpstart but without a plan on how to maintain that momentum it is very easy to fall back into the old habits that you got you to where you don’t want to be or where you used to be. After my first and only body building competition I lost my “WHY” and to be honest I have been chasing it ever since. You would think, at some point after chasing something for over 8 years that sooner or later it would hit me that what I am chasing is not the goal for me. This goal of potentially getting back on stage, which was one of the scariest and invigorating things I have ever done, would have been realized by now but it hasn’t been.
Why you ask??
Because subconsciously I don’t believe that is what I truly want. To me it’s the low hanging fruit on my goals list. I have done it so I know it is possible but do I truly want to commit to all that it takes to reach that goal again? Do I want to go through that struggle, stress, and feeling like crap again? For what? To say that I did it and bring home a bronze trophy if I am lucky. Nah, for now that is not on the top of my goal list that is floating around somewhere on my goal list but not close enough on the top for me to put forth complete effort and pick a date to compete again.
Finally to get to my point, my “WHY”…. My “WHY” is to not put my kids through the sadness, heartbreak, stress, loneliness, emptiness, anger, resentment, loss, and every other emotion under the sun that I felt by losing my parents too soon. How many times have I wished I could call my dad up for parenting advice or think about how much my mom would love to play with my dogs. There are so many moments in the few short years that they have been gone that I wish I could have shared with them. I simply can NOT do that to my kids. My “WHY” is health and longevity. My goal is to maintain my strength and health spiritually, physically, and mentally. My goal is to out live the number of years my parents were on this earth. My plan is to be vibrant and live each day to it’s fullest to the best of my ability.
How do I plan on doing this???
Eat real food, drink plenty of water, get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a night (this one is a challenge for me but I work on it every day), exercise by lifting heavy weights, lots of walking, minimal cardio, yoga, get outside as often as possible, laugh as often as possible, love my family and friends, travel, and be kind.
For 2021 my goal is to be healthy and to teach others how to be healthy for longevity. I will lead by example. I will share this experience with others and educate others in ways to be the best version of themselves at any age.